Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize