btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Never let your siblings swipe right.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
