At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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