worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize