look no pants
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
