if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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