who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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