remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
