Christians are straight up FREAKS
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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