dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm gonna have a badass scar
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I smell like Dick and happiness
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