thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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