Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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