Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize