4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
