Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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