Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
