So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Omg I joined a choir last night...
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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