He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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