im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
