I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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