Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
