saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
