So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize