I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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