He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
