i barfeds in our rink
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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