Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
