Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize