I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
you didnt know i had herpes?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
