Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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