Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
