Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
