Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
