we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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