help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize