i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
