I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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