I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
