my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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