Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
