so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
