yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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