When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
