if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
