I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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