Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
