Non-Jews are for practice
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
