could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
