but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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