i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
