the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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