a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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