What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Text me some of your sweat
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