Swine flu. Run for my life!
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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