Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
