either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
