I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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