I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
This beer is not sobering me up at all
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Randomize
