i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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