I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
