I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
