Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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