well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
They took my balls.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
