i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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