Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
