She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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