Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
