I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
