Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
no you cant smoke seaweed
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize