Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Randomize
