Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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