Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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