Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
