her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
whose parrot is this?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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