i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
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