We're like a lot better than the average bears
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Randomize
