If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
