Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
