LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
