OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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