why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
