I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
