problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
