After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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